Barnes & Noble | March 16, 2016
Internal dialogue continually scrolls through my mind like a TV new ticker. Upon entering a bookstore, it kicks into high gear and occasionally makes it all the way out of my mouth. These are the sporty playback highlights of my recent trip to the out-of-town Barnes & Noble.
- Lament the fact that the nearest Barnes & Noble is an hour away (such the sadness).
- When the Mother Unit asks if there’s anything I want to look at, answer, “Uh, everything?”
- Make a show of scanning the new book and best seller displays when secretly I’m steering for the table labeled “Things Teens Are Reading,” despite having left my own teenage years behind. I have dubbed that detail irrelevant.
- Touch the cover of An Ember in the Ashes on said teen table, because velvety soft covers make me swoon. Plus I ultra love this book. Read it. Now.
- Feel sorry for the employee in the unenviable position of having to explain the difference between internet browsers and apps as it relates to customer lady’s Nook.
- Resist the urge to have an out-loud freak-out on the unsuspecting bystander looking at the Throne of Glass books. BUY THEM ALREADY HERE I WILL PUT THEM IN YOUR BASKET AND ESCORT YOU TO THE CHECKOUT.
- Think of how good the hardcover Ice Like Fire would look next to the hardcover of Snow Like Ashes already on my shelf. Realize I should actually read Snow Like Ashes before trying to justify spending $17.99 on its sequel to the Husband Unit.
- Saunter into the children’s section and facilitate a meetup between Pusheen and his new Mo Willems friends. Elephant and Piggie are pretty trustworthy, but Pigeon can be a bit shady.
- Wonder how I’ve gone through life without realizing that Dragons vs. Drones is the ultimate cage match I’ve been missing. Immediately add to library request list, because as much as I am a reader, I am also a cheapskate.
- Wish I could give a raise to the guy still explaining Nook functionality to customer lady.
- Laugh over the Holy Bible for Minecrafters, but upon discovering it is theologically sound, convince the Mother Unit to procure it for the church library.
- Stroke the cover of An Ember in the Ashes on the way out, calculate how many bargain books I could buy for the price of one hardback, remember I am a cheapskate, and leave with empty arms but a lengthened TBR list to cross-reference with the library catalog.