Saturday was a Grade A day for books. I met up with The Roomie, who is actually one of my former college roommates, but calling her my Roomie requires far fewer syllables. We typically convene our friendship fest in a city that’s an hour drive for each of us, with the added bonus of being the home of the nearest Barnes & Noble, or “The Big Ampersand,” as we have taken to calling it. We are each other’s worst enablers when it comes to book buying. Here’s the rundown of the day’s best bookish moments:

  • We enter The Big Ampersand following general squeals of excitement and expressions of how good it is to see each other. It smells so good.
  • The Roomie expresses puzzlement over the fact that they moved the setting of The Girl on the Train from London to New York for the movie. Americans have a strange fascination with all things British, after all *cough cough* Downtown Abbey, royal family, etc. etc. *cough cough*. It’s not like London would be some sort of turn off.
  • We discover there is such a thing as the Bob’s Burgers coloring book, which is waaaaaay more our speed than the many beautifully detailed adult coloring books on the market. Plus, it includes stickers for the inner child lurking barely beneath the surface of our skin. The Roomie officially picks it up as an item to be purchased. I applaud her.
  • We LOVE how the Six of Crows boxset looks. Those colored pages? Swoon. Alas, neither of us $37 loves it.
  • We are definitely the loudest people in this store. Not obnoxiously loud, per se, but we tend to laugh a lot in each other’s presence. At least we wander sections, so we don’t subject any one person to our merriment for too long.
  • We have entered the Sci Fi section. The Roomie picks up Emperor of the Eight Islands by Lian Hearn, and we fawn over how fabulous the series covers (below) look together. They’d probably look even more fabulous on our personal bookshelves.
  • Migrate to the homeland I mean the YA section. STOP THE PRESSES I HAVE FOUND MY PURCHASE.
    What part of that does not look utterly incredible? I know nothing about this book except that I am absolutely-lutely buying it.
  • Fast forward time. It’s been 90 minutes, but it feels like five. We proceed to checkout, where we cackle over line below that I randomly open to in Battlesaurus. I’m laughing so hard I can barely read it out loud to The Roomie, who then commences to snort at least as loudly as me.

    But then he sees Monsieur Claude reach out a hand and cup the buttocks of his dance partner.

    I flip through some more pages to confirm that this book does, in fact, have dinosaurs in it.

  • The checkout man does not ask me if I have a B&N membership, because apparently people buying Battlesaurus can be assumed to not be mature enough for a paid membership. He is correct.
  • We move the friendship fest to Target, and I know The Roomie has spotted Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell on the shelf by how she introduces it:

    There’s that devil book.

    There is no lost love between The Roomie and Fangirl.

  • Later that evening, I find myself in our local used bookstore following a chili crawl that the Husband Unit declined to attend so really everything that followed is partially his fault because he wasn’t there to stop me. I pick up a book that has a swag dragon on the cover and casually observe to the Dad Unit –

    Me: This book looks cool. I might carry it around and see how it feels. Can I see myself with this book?
    Dad: I can see you with every book. I can’t see you without a book, that’s the problem.

    Sounds like somebody put on their sass pants today.

  • I spot a large chunk of the alternate covers of Cassandra Clare’s Infernal Devices and Mortal Instruments series, a.k.a. the covers that have gorgeous spine art that form complete pictures when you line them all up. ALL BETS ARE OFF.
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    My family helps me scour the store in a sort of manic frenzy, and we come up with all but City of Ashes. That’s 8 books. That’s a lot of books to potentially buy at one time, even knowing that I have store credit, particularly because I actually already own these in the original paperback design. But it’s decision time.

    Background face courtesy of my Older Brother Unit.
  • Let’s just say my decision resulted in the following text exchange between me and The Roomie.
    I told the bookseller that if she never sees me again it’s because my Husband Unit murdered me* for bringing all these home when we’re in the middle of getting ready to move.

The Dad Unit equates my book buying habits to a bomb kill switch, in that if you’re not actively holding it back, you’re essentially giving it permission to explode. I do not disagree. However, I’m the one coming home with 9 books today, so who’s the real winner here???


*Obviously, I am still alive. I did, however, receive what I called the “eye roll of resigned exasperation” when he saw my giant bag of books.